Grand Larceny in the Grand Duchy
Andy Hoffman was absolutely the most obnoxious and despicable person Seth had ever known. Andy would tear to shreds the good character of most of his friends out of their earshot, but his incisive observations, witty conclusions, and complete equality in attacking everyone without any discrimination were foibles that one could not but find somewhat appealing. In fact, he did not spare himself either. Any subterfuge hypocrisy he ever detected in himself would be instantly analyzed, categorized, and dealt with the same glee he directed at dissecting the deficiencies of others. It was rather liberating to know with certainty that nobody and nothing would be spared criticism when critical assessment was even obtusely applicable. As a result, Andy was quite well tolerated within the community for the entertainment he provided. The only sign of vanity he allowed himself was a simple gold earring in his left earlobe.
Right now, sitting at the Hot Stone Chalet in Vianden, and doing eminent justice to a schnitzel with a side of Hassleback potatoes with a crunchy top and delicious garlic and rosemary flavors, Andy poured derision into Amy Schuman for having deserted the Women’s Bridge Group at the very last moment when she knew the initiative would be un-revivable. It was typical of Amy, Andy opined, to wean herself into the leading role in every group that tolerated her for her monetary contributions but hated her continuous mischievous horseplay that made governance of any organization a circus rather than a competent act of rational decisions.
It was a default rule with Andy that he never paid for his meals. That privilege always rested with his companions who were expected to pay for the opportunity of being thoroughly educated about the satanic foibles of their fellow Luxembourg citizenry. Seth could not but consider the investment in this meal well worth it in return for the witty and entertaining comments that regaled him all through. The wonderful view of the Vianden Castle enhanced the experience.
Meal over, the dregs of cappuccino exposed, Andy and Seth walked leisurely to the imposing front of the chalet, intending to take their respective cars home. Suddenly, Andy made an uncharacteristic proposal and asked whether Seth would be available to join him that evening to visit his friend Mandy Steichen who had sought his help in resolving a minor fracas involving a family heirloom. Intrigued, Seth readily agreed.
Andy picked Seth up at his Grund residence an hour later than he had promised. They were soon on their way via E421 towards Pettingen, where Mandy had recently renovated an old farmhouse, retaining its traditional rural manner on the exterior, while converting the interior into a modern residence replete with the atypical video surveillance system. There was a solid reason behind this precaution, Andy explained, as Mandy had transported all her art collection from her city residence into her new home. As they turned into um Mierscherbierg, the dramatic moat of Pettingen Castle came into view. Five minutes away was Mandy’s new residence. Andy explained that it was a 300-year-old farmhouse called the Schiewesch, which was now enjoying a renewed life as a 21st century modern residence.
Mandy was her usual affable self when she met them in the short parking lot in front of the building. The farmhouse looked exactly like the well-preserved relic from the past that it was but the highly polished barn door – though outstandingly beautiful – looked contrived and out of place in the historical perspective. The barndoor slid open at the touch of a button and revealed an airlock intended to keep the cold air out. Once inside, the transformed majesty of the 300-year-old building was surprisingly breathtaking. The entire back outer wall of the three-storied structure had been replaced by solid glass. The view of the Pettingen Castle with its typical rounded tower in the corner dominated the left quadrant of the scene, while the flowing verdant countryside took away one’s breadth in the rest of the panorama. In early dusk, some distant farmhouses were still visible. With a touch of a button Mandy turned the entire wall opaque and they were instantly ensconced in a private world of high living, quite secure from the immediate realities that lay just outside.
With a drink in hand, Mandy led the way to her art gallery. The entire second floor had been converted into an extremely tasteful display system for high end art. There must have been over fifty artifacts, almost all paintings, some photographs; some were as large as 60"x48" from Seth’s best guess. Andy seemed to recognize a few of them. He stood for a few seconds in front of a Lithographic drawing of the Viaduc de Luxembourg by one Pierre Brandebourg. Mandy pointed out a similar lithographic impression of a Smiling Spider by the French artist, Odilon Redon. These were both oddities from artists who had excelled in other forms of art, she explained. No Cezanne hiding somewhere? Quipped Andy. Mandy laughed and reminded him that the latest Cezanne sale of The Card Player fetched USD 250 million from Qatar. Andy grimaced. "The guy painted the exact same picture thrice, even named them exactly the same, and now collectors are running after them as if they are one of a kind." It seemed like a personal affront to Andy’s sense of fairness. The gallery tour continued for half an hour more. The French artist Martin Lyonnet’s The Memory of a Childhood dominated one well-lit corner. Mandy examined that although Martin was relatively unknown at this time, his abstract squiggles were beginning to attract attention in Paris circles. Finally, they stood before a very attractive painting of a winter skating scene, quite colorful, diverse and detailed. Seth had no clue what it was, but Andy seemed to detect the Dutch Masters somewhere. "Indeed," Mandy explained, "this is my most expensive collection handed down as a family heirloom through many generations. It is a Hendrick Avercamp, who exclusively drew winter scenes of the Netherlands." She continued, "We never got it valued, but considering the best value an Avercamp ever fetched was $8 million, I think this might be between 1-2 million."
By now Seth was now somewhat impatient to know what problem they were supposed to solve, and Andy luckily broached the same topic. The problem statement was not that simple and appeared to involve royal intrigue. Apparently, Mandy was a distant cousin of the Duchess Catherine of Bavaria, who had a priced collection of exquisite glass art of the late 19th century French artist Emile Gallé’s, estimated to be collectively valued at more than EUR Two Million. The Duchess reportedly had a falling out with her cousin Archduchess Brisa of Spain, who had spoken condescendingly about Catherine’s lack of artistic taste and of her love of common art forms like blown glass which the Archduchess derisively referred to as "factory blown." Now the problem had arisen where the Archduchess was due to officially visit Duchess Catherine on a family reunion, and explained Mandy, "Catherine won’t allow the horrid woman to ride rough shod over her art collection." So, to eliminate the main point of contention, Duchess Catherine was going to send her Gallé’ glass collection to Mandy, to hold for a week, and Mandy wanted Andy to help ensure its safety.
Andy observed with a chuckle that this was slightly heavier than any family scandal he had originally been led to believe he might help resolve. Mandy said, "Aren’t you a network security consultant? I thought you would know how to secure the perimeter." And added with a smile that Andy’s insight into human nature also made him a likely candidate to best anticipate the dastardly thoughts of a would-be villain. Seth had to agree that Mandy’s reasoning was sound, while Andy remarked that it was then a lucky coincident that he had brought Seth because he was the real home security expertise.
Andy asked to see the blueprint of the video surveillance system and they were led to a large walk-in closet in the basement replete with three monitors and a range of panel mounted equipment blinking out of sequence. There were some schematics mounted on the walls, and Andy seemed to gather the gist quite rapidly. He rapidly checked off door and window sensors, 16 surveillance cameras mounted outside and inside with infra-red vision, motion sensors on the gallery floor, glass break sensors, high decibel alarm as deterrent, battery backup, and so on. One gap appeared to be the lack of instant transmission of video images to the Cloud. "But that would only help us catch a culprit after the deed was done," explained Andy, "while our main goal here is to prevent any misdeed from occurring in the first place."
Andy requested Seth to come in the next day and help ensure that the diagram on the wall was a faithful reflection of the system implemented. Mandy and Seth agreed to meet at 10 AM the next day.
Seth had earlier met Mandy socially at various parties but had never actually had a one-on-one conversation with her. All he had known about her until recently was that she was a wealthy socialite, liked by all, and respected for her acumen in organizing large art events. The Annual Luxembourg Art Festival was a yearly event where Mandy was known to play a leading role. Whereas the similar sounding Luxembourg Art Fair had a commercial intent, Mandy’s Art Festival focused on giving lesser-known artists a platform to showcase their art to the whole of Europe. Mandy would always invite at least two well-known artists to the Festival, whose presence would generally encourage people from the serious art world to give the Festival a look. Last year’s attendance of Kara Walker from the Unites States and Olafur Eliasson from Denmark had attracted a lot of attention. Now sitting across her on the patio, Seth found Mandy very personable and easy to talk to. She explained her desire for the placid countryside, having grown up in Paris and lived most of her life in one large city or another. Even her fifteen years in Luxembourg had been in the city. So now not only was she loving her new home in Pettingen, but she hardly felt away from a city, as Luxembourg City was a mere 20 minutes away. "It would take me a lot longer to go from Notre Dame to Gare du Nord," she explained with a smile.
Mandy mentioned how welcoming and hospitable her new neighbors had been and a few were quite wealthy as well. The only minor aberration in her otherwise serene life here had been one Edward Müller, who owned a similarly renovated old barn nearby. Apparently, Edward had had his eyes on buying the Schiewesch for quite some time and had been in a long negotiation with the previous owner when Mandy had unknowingly dealt the coup d'état by accepting the asking price without any negotiation. Edward had made his angst crystal clear during their first meeting and had even sent a note afterwards saying that the rich were not welcomed to corrupt the culture at Pettingen. Afterwards, she blamed a series of minor accidents and disturbances on her surly neighbor, including the more serious charge of someone leaving a fake bomb at the barn door one night. Such animosity appeared to completely disfigure the tranquil countryside stretching beyond the patio. But Seth paid little further attention to this mysterious Edward Müller, as he had at least a couple of hours of intense system testing ahead of the arrival of the artifacts by armored car later in the evening.
Around 4:00 PM, with his work completed, Seth waited for Andy’s arrival prior to the delivery of the package itself. Mandy served tea on the patio and mentioned that she had noticed Andy’s car parked up front for almost an hour. That was news to Seth. Where could Andy be in this small village of barely fifteen residences? But knowing better than to double-guess Andy’s unpredictable actions, he explained to Mandy that her system seemed quite professionally installed and secure, and then focused his attention on the grand sunset gradually unfolding before them in the distant horizon. The conversation turned to local news. Although farming was the backbone of Pettingen’s economy, of late, real estate had become rather expensive with a simple storefront in the village square selling for EUR 1.4 million. Mandy asked whether Seth had heard of a concept called the farm reboot. Seth denied all knowledge, and Mandy explained that a local farm had recently been "rebooted" as a yoga camp, health resort and wedding destination. "Funny choice of terminology," remarked Seth. "That’s what the farm calls itself on Facebook," explained Mandy.
The doorbell indicated a visitor. Hopefully, Andy, thought Seth. He was not disappointed as in walked a very pleased-looking Andy followed by an elderly, suave man dressed in youthful clothes. "Seth, meet Edward Müller, one of the stalwarts of Pettingen," Andy made the introduction. Seth rose to his feet with a start on hearing the name that had dominated his discussions with Mandy in the afternoon. Andy showed Edward into a recliner and explained to Mandy and Seth that he had gotten lucky during his afternoon jaunt through the village to chance upon Edward who seemed to know everything about everyone in Pettingen. In fact, Andy’s trust had been gained and he had looped in the local gentleman into their secret and earned his complete support to serve as an outside lookout during this minor emergency that was upon them. Mandy and Seth exchanged anguished glances, but the damage was done and Mandy’s self-proclaimed adversary numero uno had now been inducted into the inner circle entrusted with protecting the high value artifacts from Duchess Catherine of Bavaria.
With uncanny timing the doorbell rang once again and a sharply dressed policeman announced the arrival of the armored car carrying the artifacts. Andy took charge and invited the gentlemen to carry the artwork into the house. The treasure was locked inside a rectangular wooded box that had been sealed by some authority – perhaps the insurance company – at its origin, and the seal seemed intact upon arrival. Andy took several pictures from various angles and then allowed Mandy to officially sign the papers to accept the precious commodity, which was then gallantly carried by Andy and the redoubtable Mr. Müller on to the gallery floor and deposited in an unlit corner of the mezzanine.
All excitement over, it seemed like an anti-climax. No dazzling jewels. No banditos. No lurking villains. Just four ordinary citizens looking down on a non-descript box of little attraction that purported to contain the precious cargo. It was extraordinarily heavy, perhaps artificially weighed down to deter any grab-and-decamp malintent. But here it was, and there seemed nothing left to do except to return to their respective homes. Andy reassured Mandy that once alarmed, her home was like a mini fortress that was pregnable only with a decibel alert that would bring down the neighborhood as well as the local police. Seth tried his best to imagine some skulking villainous intent in Mr. Müller but failed to break through the friendly facade that seemed pre-eminent. Goodnights said, everyone departed, leaving Mandy alone with her prized consignment.
Seth had anticipated no further excitement in this little interlude from his daily mundane existence. So, it was indeed a shock to suddenly receive Andy’s frantic call the next day around lunch. Mandy’s home had been broken into that morning after she had set off the alarm. Mandy herself had been assaulted. Little else was known. Seth was requested to hurry to the scene of the crime.
With a rush of Adrenalin, Seth jumped into his car and set off at a brisk pace towards Pettingen. When he arrived, the police had already cordoned off the house with the infamous yellow tape that was now ubiquitous across the globe. A Tesla, painted with the Luxembourg colors, was parked across the barn door. Seth realized it was one of the Tesla police cars he had recently heard of but never actually seen. Mandy sat in the living room, shaken and nursing her bump on the head with an ice pack. A police detective had control of the area. Andy was sitting beside Mandy, while the valiant Mr. Müller was sitting a little further away, having lost some of his affable presence. Was he under suspicion, wondered Seth, as he was admitted into this inner circle by Mandy with a wave of her hand. The Police Detective introduced himself as Inspector Gilles Reding from the Grand Ducal Police in Mersch. After the mandatory inquiries about his whereabouts that morning, Seth was told that around 11:07 that morning, there was a break-in by the side entrance directly into the lowest floor styled like a modern walk-in basement. Mandy was on the uppermost floor and did not suspect anything until she heard noises on the gallery floor. When she went to investigate, she was hit on the head and rendered unconscious. When she regained consciousness, the assailant had vanished, but Duchess Catherine’s treasure trove appeared to have been untouched.
Did they access the video recordings, was the obvious question, almost too obvious to ask? Andy answered that whosoever the culprit had been, had known how to reset the recordings on all 16 cameras so that they started overwriting the existing content. How he or she might have broken the console password to break into the system was an open question. Was it even remotely possible that Seth had left the admin console unlocked when he left yesterday? Wouldn’t it lock itself automatically within a few minutes? When he vocalized these concerns, knowing that these would come out anyway during the investigation, the Inspector marched him into the control room to check his concerns. Lo and behold, the console was still unlocked, and the settings indicated that the console would not lock automatically. Seth’s mind was whirling. This certainly did not look good for him, having been the last known person to touch the system prior to the break in. At the very least, he could be suspected of facilitating the break in from inside. The grim face of the Inspector confirmed his fears. Even Andy looked confused. Only Mandy gave him a reassuring nod that said not to worry.
Andy rightly suggested a walkthrough of the gallery to ensure nothing else was taken. Inspector Reding called in one of his fellow policemen to keep Andy, Seth, and Edward company, while he accompanied Mandy to the gallery. Vague reassuring whispers floated down from the gallery above as the inspection proceeded. But the calm was broken within minutes when a low scream from Mandy told the story of something quite amiss. There had, after all, been a robbery. Mandy’s prized family heirloom, the Hendrick Avercamp winter scenery, had been neatly cut away with a knife, leaving the frame a dark empty void.
Seth’s heart was racing as he hurriedly fumbled for his smartphone and started typing a secure IP address into it. Unknown to anyone else, he had quietly inserted a device into the security network the day before that would continuously stream all video recordings to a Private Cloud in Seth’s home security company. The resetting of the recording by the culprit would have had no impact on the streaming video, as it would have only reset the recording on the local disk in Mandy’s home. Selecting video feed #7 that monitored the side entrance, he selected the frame for 11:05 AM that morning. Within a short time, a hooded assailant came into view, forcing an entry through the side door. A muffled scream escaped Seth’s mouth as he stared disbelievingly at the slight glint from a single gold earring emanating from within the hood.
